Quote of the Day (2010-11-30)

Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2010-11-29)

Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2010-11-28)

Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to know. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents, they could be captured and tortured."

Bernard: "You mean by terrorists?"

Sir Humphrey: "By the BBC, Bernard."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-11-27)

Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-11-26)

Ilsa: A franc for your thoughts.

Rick: In America they'd bring only a penny, and, huh, I guess that's about all they're worth.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2010-11-25)

Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-11-24)

Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2010-11-23)

Narrator: Was it ticking?

Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Narrator: Sorry, throwers?

Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...

[whispering]

Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

Narrator: I don't own...

[Officer waves Narrator off]

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2010-11-22)

Harry: Suppose nothing happens to you. Suppose you lived out your whole life and nothing happens you never meet anybody you never become anything and finally you die in one of those New York deaths which nobody notices for two weeks until the smell drifts into the hallway.

Sally: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.

Harry: That's what drew her to me.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2010-11-21)

Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?

Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2010-11-20)

Rebecca: Until I began eating clean, I never realized how a good a nice, dry ricecake could taste.

Woody: How can you eat those, Miss Howe, they don't have any flavor.

Rebecca: Oh, if I eat these I will live longer.

Woody: Well, I have a question. You know how you're always talking about how you hate your life? How come you wanna make it longer?

Rebecca: Shut up, Woody.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2010-11-19)

Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-11-18)

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-11-17)

Mark Loring: Why does everyone think yellow is gender neutral? I never knew a guy with a yellow room.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2010-11-16)

Your tush is like the pistons of a Ferrari.

Source: House

Quote of the Day (2010-11-15)

And Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-pure-as-Sir-Launcelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-11-14)

[the golf lesson]

Norton: First, you address the ball... hello, ball.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2010-11-13)

[Frasier's rocker neighbor's music is shaking his apartment]

Frasier: Doesn't he take a break for sex and drugs?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2010-11-12)

Jim Hacker: "Suppose he [Professor Henderson] produces one of these cautious wait-and-see reports?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well in that case we don't publish it, we use the American report instead."

Jim Hacker: "Oh fine. You mean we suppress it?"

Sir Humphrey: "Certainly not, we just don't publish it."

Jim Hacker: "What's the difference?"

Sir Humphrey: "Oh Minister, all the difference in the world. Suppression is the instrument of totalitarian dictatorship, we don't talk of that sort of thing in a free country. We simply take a democratic decision not to publish it."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-11-11)

You are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend, near 400 pounds of nitroglycerin!

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2010-11-10)

Sir Arnold: "I presume the Prime Minister is in favour of this scheme because it will reduce unemployment?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, it looks as if he's reducing unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Or looks as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Humphrey: "While as in reality he's only trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Yes, because he's worried that it does not look as if he's trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-11-09)

Narrator: I had it all. Even the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of... wherever.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2010-11-08)

Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, who is it who has the last word about the government of Britain? The British Cabinet or the American President?"

Sir Humphrey: "You know that is a fascinating question. We often discuss it."

Jim Hacker: "And what conclusion have you arrived at?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I must admit to be a bit of a heretic. I think it is the British Cabinet. But I know I am in the minority.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-11-07)

Bart: [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us.

[holds pony tail to his head]

Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.

Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-11-06)

Gareth: I've got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation.

Charles: Uh-huh.

Gareth: Totally. I mean they can't think of a single thing to say to each other. That's it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock.

Charles: Which is?

Gareth: He'll ask her to marry him.

Charles: Brilliant! Brilliant!

Gareth: Suddenly they've got something to talk about for the rest of their lives.

Charles: Basically you're saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.

Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2010-11-05)

Alicia: There's nothing like a love song to give you a good laugh.

Source: Notorious

Quote of the Day (2010-11-04)

Zathras: Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2010-11-03)

The number of the counting shall be three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-11-02)

Aunt Voula: What do you mean he don't eat no meat?

[the entire room stops, in shock]

Aunt Voula: Oh, that's okay. I make lamb.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2010-11-01)

GALAHAD: They're doctors?!

ZOOT: Uh, they've had a basic medical training, yes.

Source: Holy Grail